Kill Your Television

Does It Imitate Us, Or Do We Imitate It?

I gave away my television.

I had been thinking about it for awhile.

I had fallen into the trap of watching too much TV. It’s easy to do – especially with cable. Especially with free cable, which was part of my house rental. It didn’t happen right away… it took awhile to sink into it.

How do you know when you’re watching too much TV? I think that television can be a great source of news, especially The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. And what’s wrong with Futurama and The Family Guy? Even Aqua Teen Hunger Force can have it’s place in a healthy dose of TV-watching.

After some training though, the post work TV-ritual can last longer… especially during the cold dark winter months…

What happens when you know which Mythbusters are re-runs? When you already know what the Top Chef wannabe’s are going to cook? When you know which UFC fighters match up to exploit each other’s weaknesses? Is Squidbillies a funny cartoon, or just the funniest thing on after midnight? And how many times do you have to stop and watch Office Space or Napoleon Dynamite or Friday just because it’s on and you’re flipping channels?

Eventually, I hit rock bottom… I began to see the artistic merit of Metalocalypse… Do I really need to know that they have the twelfth-largest economy on the (cartoon) planet?

I knew I needed to get rid of my TV back in early January – but I did not want to miss the NFL playoffs or the Superbowl – so I had to bide my time and avoid exercise even longer.

We watched the Superbowl at my house, and a friend of a friend mentioned that he now no longer had a TV. I asked him if he wanted mine. He wasn’t sure if I was kidding or not so he said “sure”. During halftime I told him he could have it for free only if he left the house with it that day. When he got up to leave, I unplugged the TV and set it by the door – I still think he was a bit confused by that – but he did take it away.

Monday, I came home from work, sat on the couch, patted my dog on the head and looked at the empty space where my TV once was…

The headaches are going away now, and I stopped shaking yesterday! I’m starting to regain my strength – but don’t be offended if I don’t want to TV with you. I’ve been clean for 5 days now…