Comments on: The Year of Living Frugally – Week 7 http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/ Emancipate yourself from mental slavery... Sun, 05 Jul 2009 10:10:17 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 By: sumdumsurfer http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/comment-page-1/#comment-52 sumdumsurfer Sat, 19 Apr 2008 16:43:24 +0000 http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/#comment-52 To those who march to the beat of their own drummer - I salute you! Who would have thought that a semi-cranky blog entry about relationships would turn into the most read one? Makes me think I should dedicate a monthly column to dispensing relationship advice and answering reader questions... (anyone want to volunteer a relation problem/question?) To those who march to the beat of their own drummer – I salute you!

Who would have thought that a semi-cranky blog entry about relationships would turn into the most read one?

Makes me think I should dedicate a monthly column to dispensing relationship advice and answering reader questions… (anyone want to volunteer a relation problem/question?)

]]> By: Mary http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/comment-page-1/#comment-47 Mary Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:08:28 +0000 http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/#comment-47 SDF: As a mother of sons, I just want to say that the reason your family might be giving you pokes is that they have some vision of you being lonely when you are older, and they love you and want you NOT to be lonely. I'm not saying that loneliness is inevitable if you are unmarried....but people of older generations seem to think that you need a spouse to help you through the golden years. You can be unmarried and have a full circle of people around you that give your life great joy.you know that.......but it is a generational thing, I think. That being said, I think that anyone who is determined to get the most out of life (as you are) will find happiness in the way that his life unfolds. You are smart, funny, inventive, and many other things. Don't be too hard on those who think you should be married with kids. They do mean well. Just honestly respond to them and tell them that your life will be what it will be and that you're going to enjoy whatever comes along! I'm 56. I got married at an age much older than most of my friends at that time. They thought I was a "lost cause". I got really sick of hearing about it. I was sick of dating people and I had seriously decided that there was nobody good enough to make me want to spend the rest of my life with him. I was just tooling along alone when I actually collided with somebody who was truly worthy of my love. We knew each other for several years and we married, had three kids much later than our friends did, and today is our anniversary. It is good, very good. The story about the "parents" who lied to their kid is despicable. Just gotta say, being a parent is both wonderfully funny and a very serious job. We loved our kids and gave them all of the time required to raise them into fabulous adult humans. That is the main thing missing today--I work with kids, and I know that they are hurting for someone that wants to be with them. (great emphasis on those last two words.) If it ever happens to you, I have a funny feeling you would be the Dad who really wants to be with his kid. And it will be good, very good. Love your writing! Keep up the good work. Mary (you might remember me as Kindhearted1) SDF: As a mother of sons, I just want to say that the reason your family might be giving you pokes is that they have some vision of you being lonely when you are older, and they love you and want you NOT to be lonely. I’m not saying that loneliness is inevitable if you are unmarried….but people of older generations seem to think that you need a spouse to help you through the golden years. You can be unmarried and have a full circle of people around you that give your life great joy.you know that…….but it is a generational thing, I think.

That being said, I think that anyone who is determined to get the most out of life (as you are) will find happiness in the way that his life unfolds. You are smart, funny, inventive, and many other things. Don’t be too hard on those who think you should be married with kids. They do mean well. Just honestly respond to them and tell them that your life will be what it will be and that you’re going to enjoy whatever comes along!

I’m 56. I got married at an age much older than most of my friends at that time. They thought I was a “lost cause”. I got really sick of hearing about it. I was sick of dating people and I had seriously decided that there was nobody good enough to make me want to spend the rest of my life with him. I was just tooling along alone when I actually collided with somebody who was truly worthy of my love. We knew each other for several years and we married, had three kids much later than our friends did, and today is our anniversary. It is good, very good.

The story about the “parents” who lied to their kid is despicable. Just gotta say, being a parent is both wonderfully funny and a very serious job. We loved our kids and gave them all of the time required to raise them into fabulous adult humans. That is the main thing missing today–I work with kids, and I know that they are hurting for someone that wants to be with them. (great emphasis on those last two words.)

If it ever happens to you, I have a funny feeling you would be the Dad who really wants to be with his kid. And it will be good, very good.

Love your writing! Keep up the good work. Mary (you might remember me as Kindhearted1)

]]> By: Jen http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/comment-page-1/#comment-44 Jen Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:03:44 +0000 http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/#comment-44 Rima, great post to your cousin! You sound like me and my boyfriend. We nurture our cats. (And yes. They complicate even the shortest trips!) I think your cousin is an awesome writer, I'm thoroughly enjoying his blog! ~JM Rima, great post to your cousin!

You sound like me and my boyfriend. We nurture our cats. (And yes. They complicate even the shortest trips!)

I think your cousin is an awesome writer, I’m thoroughly enjoying his blog!

~JM

]]> By: your Utah Cous!!! http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/comment-page-1/#comment-40 your Utah Cous!!! Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:25:36 +0000 http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/#comment-40 Ok- you know Dave & I have no kids- but we have two doggies and our life is very fulfilling. We don't plan on kids, as we love to travel too!! Don't get me wrong, we get the pressure from the fam about kids too, but as rewarding as it may be, it is one life altering choice you can't take back. Things become 100 x more difficult to do. Having doggies (one a rescue), one a puppy complicates things enough for just a short vacation, let alone out of the country travels; kids for me would be impossible. Things will happen when they are supposed to. Don't let the dating thing get you down, and don't settle under the pressure! There is plenty of time to find that someone. Just enjoy life like you are, because it is too short not to. Everything else will just come naturally. Do what we do; enjoy your neices and nephews, and take time to play while you can. I think your life is great. My aunt on my dad's side always tells me to travel and play while your young, because its more enjoyable and doable than when your older; and if you find someone along the way that appreciates those things too, then do it together! As for kids I think about the state of the world today, and I can't fathom bringing a kid into it. You have crazy school shootings, the neverending war, not to mention (and this is a big one for me because of my job) the prevalence of Autism is staggering. Those are just a few of our reasons, the other is the selfishness of freedom (that one I don't like to admit much), but it is true. I enjoyed reading your blog, and it sounds to me like you are very much on the path you love in life; don't let anyone change that or you'll resent them for it. Compromise takes two, which means you shouldn't have to give up the things you love, they just may be altered a bit. Now I'm just rambling, but I thought I'd respond to your blog, because I think you are right about a lot of things, and I think it's good for you that you recognize that you don't want to settle just to meet societies standards. Keep havin' fun, and I'm so jealous of your trip in may!! Take care, Rima Ok- you know Dave & I have no kids- but we have two doggies and our life is very fulfilling. We don’t plan on kids, as we love to travel too!! Don’t get me wrong, we get the pressure from the fam about kids too, but as rewarding as it may be, it is one life altering choice you can’t take back. Things become 100 x more difficult to do. Having doggies (one a rescue), one a puppy complicates things enough for just a short vacation, let alone out of the country travels; kids for me would be impossible. Things will happen when they are supposed to. Don’t let the dating thing get you down, and don’t settle under the pressure! There is plenty of time to find that someone. Just enjoy life like you are, because it is too short not to. Everything else will just come naturally. Do what we do; enjoy your neices and nephews, and take time to play while you can. I think your life is great. My aunt on my dad’s side always tells me to travel and play while your young, because its more enjoyable and doable than when your older; and if you find someone along the way that appreciates those things too, then do it together! As for kids I think about the state of the world today, and I can’t fathom bringing a kid into it. You have crazy school shootings, the neverending war, not to mention (and this is a big one for me because of my job) the prevalence of Autism is staggering. Those are just a few of our reasons, the other is the selfishness of freedom (that one I don’t like to admit much), but it is true. I enjoyed reading your blog, and it sounds to me like you are very much on the path you love in life; don’t let anyone change that or you’ll resent them for it. Compromise takes two, which means you shouldn’t have to give up the things you love, they just may be altered a bit. Now I’m just rambling, but I thought I’d respond to your blog, because I think you are right about a lot of things, and I think it’s good for you that you recognize that you don’t want to settle just to meet societies standards. Keep havin’ fun, and I’m so jealous of your trip in may!!
Take care,
Rima

]]> By: sumdumsurfer http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/comment-page-1/#comment-38 sumdumsurfer Fri, 28 Mar 2008 02:45:09 +0000 http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/#comment-38 Kim, I think that no matter what I choose to do, there will be other paths that I would like to take (there's just not enough time to do it all)... I'm not actively avoiding putting down roots (in the relationship sort of way) - just trying to make some plans and see what type of life happens! Jen, Thanks - what did Peter Mulvey sing? "How many ways, are there to live life? ...(chicka-chicka-chicka) ... more than one..." (the chicka-chicka-chicka was guitar chords...). Kim,

I think that no matter what I choose to do, there will be other paths that I would like to take (there’s just not enough time to do it all)… I’m not actively avoiding putting down roots (in the relationship sort of way) – just trying to make some plans and see what type of life happens!

Jen,

Thanks – what did Peter Mulvey sing? “How many ways, are there to live life? …(chicka-chicka-chicka) … more than one…” (the chicka-chicka-chicka was guitar chords…).

]]> By: Jen http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/comment-page-1/#comment-37 Jen Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:46:40 +0000 http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/#comment-37 Great post. I am childless by choice (as is my boyfriend, obviously.) We both knew early in our lives we didn't want kids, and we both sought out mates with the same ideals. We love our lives, overall. We are both fulfilled by our lives. Society puts way too much pressure on people to fit a certain mold, and I really believe trying to fit that mold is what has created so many unhappy people. It's best to follow one's heart. If a traditional family truly is what you want, then I hope you one day find the right woman. I really believe she is out there. Love your blog! ~JM Great post.

I am childless by choice (as is my boyfriend, obviously.) We both knew early in our lives we didn’t want kids, and we both sought out mates with the same ideals.

We love our lives, overall. We are both fulfilled by our lives. Society puts way too much pressure on people to fit a certain mold, and I really believe trying to fit that mold is what has created so many unhappy people.

It’s best to follow one’s heart.

If a traditional family truly is what you want, then I hope you one day find the right woman. I really believe she is out there.

Love your blog!

~JM

]]> By: Kim http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/comment-page-1/#comment-36 Kim Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:59:38 +0000 http://chainsofbabylon.com/2008/03/the-year-of-living-frugally-week-7/#comment-36 What a hoot! But, you know what...Don't wait forever. I did and now it feels like it has really all passed me by. I did what I wanted to do. I followed my muse and pursued my passions. And now, I'm finding that maybe I should have been working on setting down some roots. Ah, but you are on a grand adventure! What a hoot!
But, you know what…Don’t wait forever. I did and now it feels like it has really all passed me by. I did what I wanted to do. I followed my muse and pursued my passions. And now, I’m finding that maybe I should have been working on setting down some roots.

Ah, but you are on a grand adventure!

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